Stirred
by SuzMonster
Summary: Kirk convinces Spock that getting drunk after a break-up is the thing to do. Bones takes care of him. Fluffiness ensues. Slash - McCoy/Spock


"C'mon, Spock, it's tradition."

"I fail to see the logic in this tradition, Captain."

"Who said anything about logic? I just think you need a little cheering up."

"Vulcans do not experience "cheer," Captain."

Jim rolled his eyes at this comment. He didn't bother pointing out that Spock was only half-Vulcan; it would do him no good.

"Seriously, Spock. It'll make you feel better."

Spock finally acquiesced. The captain had been goading him for almost seven minutes about the benefits of becoming inebriated after a break-up. He was unable to convince the Captain that he was not, in fact, heartbroken over being "dumped." He truly was not upset. And no, he wasn't "not upset" because Vulcans don't get upset, he was "not upset" because he did not have feelings for Nyota, at least not romantic feelings.

"Very well, Captain, if you obtain the necessities, I will ingest them."

Spock used the vague wording in an attempt to trick his friend. He hoped that the Captain did not realize Vulcans do not become inebriated by consuming alcohol.

Jim's face lit up.

"Really?" He excitedly asked. Then he continued hastily, "No, don't answer that. I don't want you to change your mind. Your quarters, half an hour."

---

Jim showed up at Spock's door 27 minutes later, with Scotty and a bottle of Scotty's "best" moonshine. Spock momentarily thought he had won. He was wrong. From his pocket Jim produced a very large bar of chocolate.

"You got glasses, Spock?" Jim asked.

"Affirmative, Captain." Spock turned to get the glasses –"We need four, Spock."– and handed them to the Captain.

"It's Jim, especially if we're drinkin'," he paused. "Or, y'know, eatin'?"

Jim planted himself on the floor and Scotty followed suit. Spock looked at them dubiously, but decided to join them on the floor. Jim passed the chocolate bar to Spock and then poured himself and Scotty a drink.

Jim raised his glass and Scotty raised his to meet it. They turned to look at Spock, who did not move an inch. Jim shrugged, clinked his drink with Scotty's, smiled broadly and finished his drink in one gulp. Scotty did the exact same thing.

"You're up, Spock. Have at it."

Spock wondered briefly why he had agreed to this, but a Vulcan did not go back on his word, so he broke off a piece of chocolate and put it in his mouth. After a moment, he began to chew. After he swallowed it he realized Scotty and Jim were staring at him.

"Well?" Jim asked.

"I found the taste pleasing."

Jim laughed.

"I thought Vulcans didn't have taste preference, Spock," he teased. Spock knew enough not to respond.

Jim poured himself and Scotty another, and motioned for Spock to do the same with his chocolate. Before they could partake in their seconds, the door chimed.

"Come," Spock called.

"Chekov! Glad you could make it," Jim exclaimed.

"I would not miss an excuse to drink you under the table, Captain."

Jim just laughed. Chekov sat down next to Jim and Jim grabbed him a glass and poured a third drink.

As they drank (and ate!) they made small talk, or, more accurately, Jim and Pavel made small talk, Scotty occasionally piped in, and Spock only listened, unless directly addressed.

By the time their seventh drink came around (or was it eighth, Jim had long since forgotten to keep track) the door chimed again. This time Spock rose to answer it personally.

"Doctor, how nice of you to join us," Spock said. If Leonard wasn't mistaken, there was a slur in his speech.

"Sorry m'late, gentlemen, had a bit of an emergency in Sickbay, nothing to worry 'bout, now."

"Bones!" Jim cheered. Jim was even friendlier when drunk, if that were possible, but Leonard had most certainly gotten used to it.

Spock led Leonard in and sat back down in the same spot on the floor. Leonard looked down, then looked over at the couch. He seemed to consider his options, then moved to plop down on the couch.

"Aw, Bones! Where ya goin'?"

"Gettin' too old to sit on the floor, Jim." Jim huffed noisily. Leonard just laughed and shook his head.

Jim decided it was time for another round and grabbed the final glass, filled it, and handed it off to Leonard.

They continued to drink and talk amicably, becoming steadily noisier and more rambunctious. Then, as Chekov moved to grab his drink, he knocked it over.

"Mmmf," he said. Jim giggled.

"Maybe is time I call Hikaru."

Leonard nodded his agreement and grabbed a comm. He called Sulu for Chekov, and Sulu swung by a few minutes later to pick up Chekov, literally. He leaned heavily on Sulu as they left.

Jim was now fully laying on the floor, staring at Spock.

"How you feelin', now, Spock?"

Spock would have said Vulcans did not feel, but that was never a good enough answer for the Captain.

"I feel satisfactory," he answered, speaking very slowly so as not to slur his words.

Jim really laughed at this. Spock was ifunny/i.

"Got any chocolate left?"

"Negative, Captain."

Jim laughed even harder, bordering on hysterically.

"Cap'n. I think ya've had enough," Scotty said.

"Mm, think yer right," he replied, getting up.

"C'mon, Cap'n, I'll walk ya to your quarters."

Jim just nodded and mumbled something. Then he looked at Leonard.

"Take care-a Spock?" he asked.

"I'm a doctor, Jim, of course I'll take care of him."

Jim looked somewhat relieved. Probably because he was in no condition to take care of Spock himself. Leaning on each other, (it was truly impossible to tell which man was holding the other up) they turned and left.

"Ya okay, Spock? Feel sick?"

"Negative," Spock answered, which really wasn't helpful, but he didn't look sick so Leonard assumed his answer was in relation to the second question.

Spock was staring at him now, and Leonard had no idea why. He didn't think asking would do much good, so he raised one eyebrow at Spock in perfect imitation. At this Spock decided to rise from the floor. He made it to his feet fine and so he began to walk. This was a mistake. He promptly stumbled and fell, right into the Doctor's lap.

Instead of attempting to right himself or stand, Spock wiggled a bit, making himself comfortable. Leonard was a bit confused, but wasn't about to pass up the opportunity to be that close to Spock. He lifted one hand to hold onto Spock's hip and put other on his knee.

"Thank you for'coming to my celebration, Dcotor," Spock said. He was still speaking slowly, which Leonard found quite endearing.

"Didn't know we were celebrating anything, Spock."

"Oh. The Captain wanted to 'cheer me up' because of my 'dumping.'"

Leonard nodded. That explained a lot. Especially the fact that there was a Vulcan in his lap, but he wasn't sure what to say. Luckily for him, Spock continued his rambling.

"Would you like to know why we ended our relationship?"

Leonard meant to say no. He really did. But for some reason he found himself nodding.

"While engaging in coitus, I spoke a title that did not describe Nyota."

Leonard groaned. He did not feel like having this conversation.

"I'm sure Jim will be real excited to know you're interested," he muttered. Spock appeared to be confused by this assessment.

"I did not say 'Captain.'"

"Oh."

"I said 'Doctor.'"

"Ohhhhh."

Yes, he was a bit slow, but Leonard finally understood what Spock was trying to tell him. Spock wanted ihim/i and boh/b, but he wanted Spock. That's when he heard a pained moan coming from Spock. His eyes shot to Spock's face and he recalled why he was here. He was supposed to be taking care of Spock, not taking advantage of him.

"Feel sick," Spock mumbled.

"Alright, up ya git," he said, and he tried to help Spock up, which was a bit difficult, being under him. Then he ushered him toward the bathroom.

They made it just in time for Spock to throw up in the toilet.

"Feel better?"

"I believe so-" His response was cut short by another bout of nausea.

While Spock finished expelling the contents of his stomach, Leonard found a cloth and wet it. He sat down next to Spock, who appeared to be finished. He took Spock's face in his hand and turned it toward him, then wiped off his mouth. Then he hauled Spock up and led him toward the bed. He sat Spock down and helped him out of his Regulation shirt, boots, and pants, leaving him in just his black undershirt and black boxer-briefs.

Then Leonard got a glass of water and handed it to Spock

Spock looked at it doubtfully.

"Dammit, Spock, I'm a doctor."

Spock nodded and as he was drinking, Leonard located the garbage can, setting it by the bed.

Leonard took the glass from Spock, set it on the bedside table and helped Spock under the covers.

He brushed some of the hair off Spock's sweaty forehead. Before he could think about it, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the newly cleared spot.

Spock just looked up at him with a dazed expression, half-smiled and closed his eyes. Before Leonard could lower the lights, Spock had fallen asleep.


End file.
